In regards to Diana's first question "What do you guys think of the quote 'Learning to Love Beyond Our Fears'"?
I once had an interesting conversation where we were talking about being able to easily love others but having a hard time letting them love us. We talked about trusting others in the fact that their love was really genuine, and we didn't owe them anything in return. Does that make sense? No string attached just unconditional love. So that quote reminds me of that conversation.
Being able to love without any fear, and being able to let others love us without fear that we owe them something back in return.
For me it is easy to show love, but I have a hard time accepting it. In my head it is like a tit for tat game, where if someone does something nice for me, I can't just graciously accept it, I feel like I have to do something even nicer for them. It's a fear of not doing enough or giving enough that the love will eventually run out.
I need to sit with the book and take some notes. But that quote just triggered those thoughts in my head.
Nice to meet you all. And I look forward to our blogging discussions.
I agree that it is hard to accept love. I have mostly thought about this as it applies to accepting God's love. I think it scares me. Whenever I have been struck by the magnitude of God's love for us, and me personally, (e.g.: in reading or during mass), I feel overwhelmed by how little I deserve it, even though I know it's not about deserving (and we can't really deserve his love anyway). Ideally, I think what you are supposed to do with that reaction is to surrender and let God's love transform you. I, typically foolish, try to stop thinking about it as soon as possible so that I don't start bawling in public or so I can get on with what I have to do next in the day. As I told my brother recently, I don't have time to be a crying mess for three hours (ohhh terrible . . . )
I think one reason I feel overwhelmed sorta kinda relates to what you were saying about tit for tat. I think maybe part of what scares me is that I have a tremendous sense of responsibility to return to him what he has given me, and I feel inadequate. This is not a conscious thought process at the time (b/c like I said, I avoid reflecting on it), but thinking about it now, I think that's what is happening.
I heard a good sermon at St. Paul's about a year and a half ago that talked about rational and irrational fears. I think that the fear to accept God's love, which is fruitful in our love for others, is an irrational fear. The way to know that is that even though we can never love as perfectly as he does (and not return to him all that he gives to us), it is beneficial for us to love him and harmful for us to hide (as I borrow the language Rolheiser uses at some point in this week's reading). So it is irrational to hide.
I had some thoughts as I was reading too, but I think I will save them till tomorrow.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteIn regards to Diana's first question "What do you guys think of the quote 'Learning to Love Beyond Our Fears'"?
I once had an interesting conversation where we were talking about being able to easily love others but having a hard time letting them love us. We talked about trusting others in the fact that their love was really genuine, and we didn't owe them anything in return. Does that make sense? No string attached just unconditional love. So that quote reminds me of that conversation.
Being able to love without any fear, and being able to let others love us without fear that we owe them something back in return.
For me it is easy to show love, but I have a hard time accepting it. In my head it is like a tit for tat game, where if someone does something nice for me, I can't just graciously accept it, I feel like I have to do something even nicer for them. It's a fear of not doing enough or giving enough that the love will eventually run out.
I need to sit with the book and take some notes. But that quote just triggered those thoughts in my head.
Nice to meet you all. And I look forward to our blogging discussions.
Response to Jenn. . .
ReplyDeleteI agree that it is hard to accept love. I have mostly thought about this as it applies to accepting God's love. I think it scares me. Whenever I have been struck by the magnitude of God's love for us, and me personally, (e.g.: in reading or during mass), I feel overwhelmed by how little I deserve it, even though I know it's not about deserving (and we can't really deserve his love anyway). Ideally, I think what you are supposed to do with that reaction is to surrender and let God's love transform you. I, typically foolish, try to stop thinking about it as soon as possible so that I don't start bawling in public or so I can get on with what I have to do next in the day. As I told my brother recently, I don't have time to be a crying mess for three hours (ohhh terrible . . . )
I think one reason I feel overwhelmed sorta kinda relates to what you were saying about tit for tat. I think maybe part of what scares me is that I have a tremendous sense of responsibility to return to him what he has given me, and I feel inadequate. This is not a conscious thought process at the time (b/c like I said, I avoid reflecting on it), but thinking about it now, I think that's what is happening.
I heard a good sermon at St. Paul's about a year and a half ago that talked about rational and irrational fears. I think that the fear to accept God's love, which is fruitful in our love for others, is an irrational fear. The way to know that is that even though we can never love as perfectly as he does (and not return to him all that he gives to us), it is beneficial for us to love him and harmful for us to hide (as I borrow the language Rolheiser uses at some point in this week's reading). So it is irrational to hide.
I had some thoughts as I was reading too, but I think I will save them till tomorrow.